Asiacrypt 2015 Rump Session
The Asiacrypt 2015 Rump Session took place on the evening of Tuesday December 1st.
The rump session program is here.
- Do you have breaking news, progress reports, or other topics of interest to the cryptographic community?
- Can you keep your talk short and entertaining?
The Rump Session is where people show off their talents, present breaking news, humorous takes on the subject, or in rare cases either present their rejected Asiacrypt submission, or present work under submission to Eurocrypt in the hope of influencing the committee.
This year the rump session is hosted by the world renowned craptologist Prof. Nigel Smart. Nigel is most well known for the invention of the Smart Card, but has been peddling craptology for a long time in this field.
To encourage people to submit humorous talks the "Best Paper" at the Rump Session gets invited to submit to the Journal of Craptology. However, in a true FIFA spirit, you can bribe your way into this journal. Just talk to the editor-in-chief.
So to ensure the Rump Session is as boring as in previous years we require your contributions. To request a talk slot at the Asiacrypt 2015 Rump Session, fill out the form below before Monday 30th November 2015, 00:00 UTC.
Some submissions may have to be rejected or shortened because of time constraints; please remember that the Rump Session is meant for short and entertaining presentations. We will only be accepting a very limited number of TALKS (if any) related to any conference/meeting announcements or job adverts since these types of announcements are now well served by the IACR's online Calendar of Events and Open Positions in Cryptology web pages. However, if you want to submit ONE SLIDE for such events then we will display these during the break of the Rump Session.
To avoid endless, dull and boring fussing around with opening and closing files, or worse, uploading files or changing laptops en plein public, there will be a single laptop with all the presentation slides merged. If you plan to give a talk without slides, or if you do not have slides ready yet, please prepare and submit one slide stating your name and talk title.
Submission format:
Only PDF and PPTX formats are supported. All submissions for talks should start with a title page containing a preferably funny, possibly anonymous picture of the authors and a TLA (three letter acronym) from the cryptographic literature for the audience to guess. To ensure that what is being presented is as close as possible to what the rump co-chairs believe they have reviewed, we reserve the right to modify slide sets.
Very importantly we have four Categories for you to pick from.
- Strictly Come Crypto: You will present your talk using the medium of interpretive dance. See john_bohannon_dance_vs_powerpoint_a_modest_proposal for an example.
- Craptology: Your talk WILL be funny, or else!!!!!
- Shameless Plug: For those with serious results, try to keep it lighthearted nonetheless!
- Advert: For those wishing to advertise open positions or upcoming events. Unless this is crapworthy, you might end up anonymously during the toilet break!!
The Abstract field *must* be used to submit the following information:
- A brief summary (not for publication)
- Post-Cryptography Cryptography: Designing cryptography when P=NP.
- Why when I use cloud computing, does my computer get wet?
- Why my boots are always cold?
- Our result is indistinguishable from crap.
- Requested duration of your slot in minutes; if you request more than
5 you may not understand the concept of a Rump Session.
- Explanation (kept strictly confidential, ahum) of why this talk
belongs in the Rump Session: In order of decreasing interest to the
Rump Session Committee these are...
- Money: only high value bribes are useful for the Rump Session chair.
- Track Record: I have won multiple 'best crap' prizes.
- Post-post Resistance: This work will live on long after the galaxy has ceased to exist.
- Sequel/Prequel/Reboot: Part of a series of Rump Session talks.
- Serious Filler: This is just a neat result I felt like sharing.
- Freshness of your result:
- The Fellowship of the Ring: You are starting on an epic new quest.
- The Two Towers: Your work faces big obstacles and you need help to overcome them.
- The Return of the King: This is a result you presented at Crypto 2015, and you want to bore people to death with it again.
- The Hobbit: You have a tiny result, but you are going to stretch it out to multiple papers.
Submission server:
We will be using the usual conference submission software for submission of your Rump Session slides.
Submission Server
Online updates of slides for previous submissions will be accepted until midday on Tuesday. Updated slides will not be accepted on USB sticks or by email!